Revenge On Telemarketers:

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy
and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to
know?" Alternatively, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no
one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems ; my arthritis
is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."When they try to
get the sell, just keep talking about your problems.

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their
name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This work great for males: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm
with XYZ Company..."
You: wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "what are you
wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where in the world she could know you from.

6. Say "NO" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep
a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if
you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Friends and Family
plan, reply in as sinister voice as you can, "I don't have any
friends...would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you
get out Goat blood? How about dried up human blood?"

9. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
When they get flustered, tell them that you could not give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often
can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout and scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they
will give you their home phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their home number, you
say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinnertime, but ask them if they would please hold.
Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure.
Smack your food loudly and continue to with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they
could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the telemarketer, "OK, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.

20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY because you are writing every word down.

From George Pope:

One guy's 10 game plays for telemarketers calling him:

1. " Mr. Daum is happy to speak to you. His billing rate is $500 per
hour. If you'll give me your credit card number now, I'll book a time
slot just for you."

2. "Oh, I thought you were my ride? Can you Uber a car for me?"

3. "I'm busy now, but I'm free around midnight. Can I have your home
phone number so I can call you back?"

4. "I am planning to audition for The Voice next week. I've been
practicing Sinatra's "My Way." Could you tell me what you think?"

5. "What are you wearing?"

6. "Wanna know what I'm wearing?"

7. "Can you please call back? I am on the other phone line with my
proctologist and he is trying to explain to me why I am a perfect ass."

8. "I am so glad you called. I just finished memorizing the Gettysburg
Address. Can I try it out on you?"

9. "Nice to hear from you! I'm fundraising on behalf of 'Kanye for
President.' Can I count on you for a donation?

10. "My puppy has been doing the cutest things all morning. If you give
me your cell number I'll text you some pictures."
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Daryl Stout wrote to All <=-

Revenge On Telemarketers:

I remember getting calls from "Microsoft" at work. (I worked in the I.T Dept of a large mid-western retailers.) Needless to say, I wasn't happy with the scam call.

I would give their Indian accent right back at them. Many of the people in the I.T. Dept were from India so I had the accent down good - and the Indian people I worked with HATED these scammers even more than I did so they did not take offence when I did this.

The best one was when I got a call and asked them to wait a minute.
I handed the phone to the guy next to me: Nick, my companie's Microsoft representative.
"Hey, Nick. Microsoft is saying there's something wrong with my computer."
I thought I was good at harassing these people, but Nick took things to a whole new level.


... Sigmund's wife wore Freudian slips.
=== MultiMail/Linux v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS - bbs.dmine.net:24 (1:275/89)

The best one was when I got a call and asked them to wait a minute.
I handed the phone to the guy next to me: Nick, my companie's Microsoft representative.
"Hey, Nick. Microsoft is saying there's something wrong with my computer." I thought I was good at harassing these people, but Nick took things to a whole new level.

Like this guy?

https://youtu.be/kMwFhGd8duo

I remember warnjing twitsd on BBSes about the bin Laden virus.

Drop to DOS: ALT+S

CD \WINDOWS

DIR *.BIN

See all those bin files -- those are former Windows files thart the virus has taken over.

Delete those & Windows will rebuild the correct ones:

echo y|del *.bin

*.*

After a few jokes, I point out that only a twit would have done those steps & desrved the results. . .

I waited til I was well-known for these pranks so my regular readers wouldn't get caught by it, of course!

I also used it to catch those who would wreck a sysop's pc, given the chance.

Use the secret SYSOLP ACCESS (ALT+S) then CD \ , ECHO Y|DEL *.*

Now I dn't do this stuff, of course, because I'm more (cough, cough) mature.. . uh-huh. . yuuuup! No Doubt!

Wanna buy a bridge, so you can collect tolls & have an extra source of income?

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

Ron,

I remember getting calls from "Microsoft" at work. (I worked in the
I.T Dept of a large mid-western retailers.) Needless to say, I wasn't happy with the scam call.

I would say not.

I would give their Indian accent right back at them. Many of the people
in the I.T. Dept were from India so I had the accent down good - and
the Indian people I worked with HATED these scammers even more than I
did so they did not take offence when I did this.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

The best one was when I got a call and asked them to wait a minute.
I handed the phone to the guy next to me: Nick, my companie's
Microsoft representative.
"Hey, Nick. Microsoft is saying there's something wrong with my computer." I thought I was good at harassing these people, but Nick
took things to a whole new level.

I'll bet it was funny.

... Sigmund's wife wore Freudian slips.

I guess she wasn't skirting the issue...but when asked if the girdle
fit, she said "Of corset does". <G>

Daryl

... Newspaper Headline: "Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over."
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

George Pope wrote to Ron Lauzon <=-

I thought I was good at harassing these people, but Nick took things to a whole new level.

Like this guy?

Yup.

Use the secret SYSOLP ACCESS (ALT+S) then CD \ , ECHO Y|DEL *.*

Or in the internet world today, "There's a secret site with lots of warez.
Just hack into 127.0.0.1"


... Hey Santa, can I have a copy of your naughty girls list?
=== MultiMail/Linux v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS - bbs.dmine.net:24 (1:275/89)

Ron,

... Hey Santa, can I have a copy of your naughty girls list?

It's like the meme with the cat writing a letter, with these words:

"Dear Santa... Define Naughty". <G>

Daryl

... Deja Booboo: When you feel you've screwed this up before.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Use the secret SYSOLP ACCESS (ALT+S) then CD \ , ECHO Y|DEL *.*

Or in the internet world today, "There's a secret site with lots of warez. Just hack into 127.0.0.1"

Just a guess is that the user's own IP?

You must recall the old instruction emails on servicing your own computer, to save money?

Most involving water immersion. . .

True story: IBM official method to clean their keyboards:

Tip on front edge & hammer onto tabletop, to get out old crumbs; do thart twith today's POS keyboards & you'll reduce them to component parts!

These are the old keyboards thart weighed about 6lbs!

I had an old IBM mouse that weighed about 3/4 of a pound!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George Pope wrote to Ron Lauzon <=-

Or in the internet world today, "There's a secret site with lots of warez. Just hack into 127.0.0.1"

Just a guess is that the user's own IP?

Yup. That's the loopback address. It's always localhost (i.e. your PC).

You must recall the old instruction emails on servicing your own
computer, to save money?

Most involving water immersion. . .

Yes, I do remember that. People saying that they clean their keyboards by putting them in the dishwasher. I even encountered someone saying that they clean
their computer by putting the motherboard through the dishwasher.


... I am the Shopping Cart that nicks at your paint-job.
=== MultiMail/Linux v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS - bbs.dmine.net:24 (1:275/89)

George Pope wrote to Ron Lauzon <=-

Or in the internet world today, "There's a secret site with lots of warez. Just hack into 127.0.0.1"

Just a guess is that the user's own IP?

Yup. That's the loopback address. It's always localhost (i.e. your PC).

I've used the Facebook one on occasion ("Police are on the lookout for the peervert; here's their picture: do you recognize them?" https://www.facebook.com/profile.php )

You must recall the old instruction emails on servicing your own computer, to save money?

Most involving water immersion. . .

Yes, I do remember that. People saying that they clean their keyboards by putting them in the dishwasher. I even encountered someone saying that they clean
their computer by putting the motherboard through the dishwasher.

I feel a little bad for those who followed the advice, but I figure they'd've done worse in time with that level of gullibility. . .

A girl named Autumn tried to prank me.
I didnÆt fall for it!

DonÆt play pranks on your coworkers.
ItÆs a silly habit ù tricks are for /kids/!

In Australia they prank call old people and just say OK boomer and hang up. ItÆs getting so popular it has a nameà
Boomer rang

Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April FoolÆs
They were literally born yesterday!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)